I am not a ninja!
by VizeerLord
Summary: Ninja are only human, but Naruto is more then just a Human...
1. Chapter 1

I am not a Ninja

isdh

00

Mizuki sensei crowed from the tree branch he was perched on. "You heard me, That brat is not, nor will he ever be a ninja!" he hurled the Fuma Shuriken at Naruto.

Naruto closed his eyes, awaiting the impact...that never came. Opening his eyes, he saw Iruka sensei crouched over him. But Over Iruka, stood another man, holding the Fuma shuriken, inches from Iruka's back.

"You are correct. He is Not, nor will he ever be a Ninja." the deep voice of the man spoke. "Ninja are the best and worst that a human can aspire to. But that boy, will never be a Ninja, he is in fact Jinchuuriki. He is on the Nine, and is to be respected, honored, and treasured."

Taking a few steps to the left, the Man looked at Naruto. "You have something to show your sensei, do you not?"

Naruto Frowned, looked about, then looked at his sensei, one was frowning, wondering if his student was okay. The other had a cocky grin on his face, knowing that the dead last had nothing. Naruto grinned, flashed a few hand signs and poof.

Where three men and a boy were the only ones standing about, now stood an army of Naruto. An army of grinning, knuckle popping, fist flexing, Naruto...

As one they jumped Mizuki. Beating him down. The traitor ninja did not go down without a fight, but wave after wave of the orange assault would not be stopped.

The Stranger winced a few times before turning to Iruka. "So Sensei, did the gaki pass the academy?"

"Yeah, he has the clone jutsu down, so He passes." Iruka reached for his headband, but the stranger stopped him.

"While the idea is heartwarming, I think the gaki would prefer this one as his standard." from inside his coat, he pulled a headband for the village that was bright orange. "I ment what I said; he is not a ninja. He is something more...something both greater and darker."

Naruto limped up to Iruka Sensei. "So, now what?"

The stranger tossed the orange headband to Naruto. "You are not a ninja. But you will act like one for the time being. I will explain everything when we get to the Hokage." Turning to Iruka, "Can you take him to the Hokage? Scroll and all? I will bring the traitor."

Walking over to the sprawled ninja, the new guy tucked a toe under the body, and with a practiced move, popped the body into the air, and slung it over his shoulder. A nod to Iruka, and he was gone.

"Cool! Can I learn that?"

Iruka just smiled and shook his head, Naruto was someone else's problem now. Grabbing a hold of Naruto's Shoulder, he shunshin them to the Hokage's Office.


	2. Chapter 2

Not a Ninja

01

isdh

an; all will be explained in this chapter or the next. I am mixing folklore with cannon.

* * *

Uzumaki Naruto and Umino Iruka appeared in a swirl of leaves at the foot of the Hokage tower, where they were met by four teams of ANBU, all with weapons drawn, and the Stranger with Mizuki draped over his shoulder.

"I do not care if you are Uncle Tanuki, you are not going in there." Growled a

"You don't say. Just get the Professor." the guy leaned back, Muzuki swing as he shifted. Turning to look at Naruto, "Ah Gaki, its been a few years since I have been here. Tell me, is that old man Teuchi still mixing up a mean bowl of Ramen?"

"Yeah! Best place to eat in Town! Iruka-sensei and I eat there often!" Naruto was a bit jazzed.

"Good to hear. Send a clone to tell him 'an old friend' will be stopping by. Give him this." the old man tossed a small carved wooden figure to Naruto, who popped a clone that grabbed the figure and vanished into the night.

"Ah, Tanuki. What brings you to our humble village." The Hokage spoke from the doorway. It was not a question he expected the stranger to answer, not out in front of everyone.

"I heard a rumor that the one who out stepped me had a son graduating from the academy this year. Only I was delayed on my way here, and missed the ceremony. I was walking in the woods and crossed paths with three remarkable villagers, having a dispute. I noticed that the youngest had Senju-Sama's scroll, and had been reading it. Then this scum tried to kill the youngest. When his sensei offered his life, I had to step in as well. Then the Gaki went ape-shit on this boot scraping. Sensei offered the gaki his hitai, while I collected the leftovers, knowing that your head interrogator would want a turn at him."

The Hokage nodded. "Take Mizuki to Ibiki." two ANBU stepped forward, as Tanuki just stepped to the side, and the battered ninja fell to the ground. Sarutobi Hiruzen frowned at the actions of the old man. "Tanuki, just get to my office, You too Iruka, and take Naruto with you."

As Naruto was lead into the Tower, he heard 'Jiji-sama' lecturing the ANBU on 'Uncle Tanuki' and why he had full, unlimited access to the tower and the Hokage.

Naruto frowned, trying to rack his tired little mind. He knew he heard of 'Uncle Tanuki' somewhere, but where? "Iruka-Sensei, Who is Uncle Tanuki?"

The tired chunin looked down at the troubling gaki, "A rumor, a Legend, a myth. No more. The earliest tales of him are over a century old, going back even further. Some say he is immortal, immoral, and insane. Other say he follows a code of honor so twisted he would kill the Damyio for the slightest insult, but bare his throat for a wronged child to cut it."

Looking at the back of the man ahead of them, "And then, there is this guy. He is even older then the Hokage, was visiting the Village when theNidaime Hokage took office. A trader, a merchant of far and exotic goods. A seal master, unmatched by all but the Grandmasters of the Village Hidden in the Whirlpools. It is rumored that his skills with storage seals is so great that he has a burning compound that he was going to take to a lake sealed in a scroll, but he lost the scroll because he has so much in his pack."

Tanuki suddenly had a coughing fit.

"So? Who is he?" Naruto's eyes got really big.

The old man shouldered into the Hokage's office, and seeing a Massive wooden object next to the Couch, grinned. "Come here boy." He sat down pulling the thing around in front of him. He ran his fingers over it, causing drawers to pop open then closed. Some times packages and scrolls would be selected from the drawers, before they were resealed. Soon he had a pile of over fifteen items on the floor beside him.

"Your teacher is right about most of what he told ya. I am from the village hidden in the whirlpools. I was your mother's godfather in-fact. When I heard she was pregnant, I hurried to make my way here, but got caught in Contract that bound me to those who would find your Biju a goddess. I just recently passed through Suna on my way here and got the last of your Birthday gifts. I am sorry, had I been here within a week of your parents' deaths, I would have taken you with me. You would never have felt the villagers hate or fear." He pulled a flat flask from under his vest, uncorking it, and taking a healthy pull. "But the Past is behind us, only use it to gauge how far you have come, never let it hold you down. As of this minute, I am declaring you kin, if not clan."

"And just what are you planing, Tanuki?" the Hokage asked from the door.

Holding out the flask to the Hokage, who grabbed it and plopped down behind his desk. "Was thinking of teaching the boy the basics in heavy chakra use. He has chosen to serve the village. He plans on becoming the Hokage. Because of his...tenet, the simple path of only the basics, plus clan jutsu is not going to be enough. I intend to teach, or find someone to teach, him the basics of everything. And I mean Everything."

Pulling another flask out, "I am just his great uncle, I fully expected his godparents to have raised him. Not seeing them, or even sensing them in the village, I take it they were told something along the lines that he was killed in the Assault, along with his Parents?"

The Hokage nodded before pulling heavily on his flask. "Not by me, but by my senior council. Senju-hime has avoided all communication and anything that has to do with the Village. The Boy's godfather is busy scouting the Five Nations for intelligence that no spy could get, and and the cover story; his research for his books." the Hokage tossed a small orange book to Tanuki.

Looking at the book, "Figures. I thought he was just a pervert, but I see he is more, a true genies of a super pervert. These books are the only things out selling mine." Tanuki tossed a small black book to the Hokage. The book vanished up the old man's sleeve, unopened.

Turning back to Naruto, "Drop Senju-Sama's scroll on the desk, then come here and pick one boy," he waved his hand at the pile of presents. "The rest will wait until tomorrow, after you take care of your official status."

Naruto pulled the massive scroll off his back and dropped it on the desk. Stepping close, he looked at the all gifts, then at the old man. "Jiji-dono, how...why...who..."

Tanuki smiled. "I will take the 'Jiji', as your mother was like a daughter to me. I am Loyal to the Uzumaki clan." He pulled open his shirt to show an old brand mark; a swirl like that on the back the kid's coat. "I am a merchant, a trader, a storyteller, a seal master, an envoy, and..." he leaned close, looked around to see if anyone was watching, and in a stage whisper, "I am a container similar to you."

Naruto's eyes bugged out. "You have a...a..."

"Biju?" the old man leaned back, "No, not exactly. There are nine Biju, each has a number of tails equal to its power. If the stories I hear are correct, you have the strongest." he poked the kid in the belly, "The nine tailed fox. She was massive in the terms of power, but, when angered, lacking in control. Most likely why she was sealed with so light of a cost. The time before, to seal her, cost nine seal masters their abilities to work any type jutsu, five died by the next dawn, and the Jinchuuriki, went insane, had to be chained in a cave until he died. The Fourth died seal her in you. But the stories I heard, that was the price of the re-crafted seal. A newborn child and the life force of a seal master, if not grandmaster." the heavy ancient snorted, "What I carry is older then the Biju, and both weaker and stronger then any of the Biju. I carry a...Dragon."

"No Way!"

"I wish. Like you I have incredible raw chakra, but my control is shit. I have tried, over the last two hundred years, to control like even a academy cadet, but you can at least do a clone. I can not. You know that fire ball jutsu the Uchiha clan is known for..." at the boys nod, "If I tried, I would incinerate half the village like that." he snapped his fingers. "I can great things, but your new clone jutsu will beat mine as the coolest jutsu everytime. With time, practice, focus, you will Match if not surpass any and all of the Four Great Hokages on that wall." he waved his hand behind him. "Now pick a gift."

Naruto poked at a few boxes, before grabbing a scroll.

"Now, boy. Why did you choose that one?" the old man started to reseal the rest away.

"Simplest reason, it looked to be the least in value of all the gifts, less chance of someone taking it from me." Naruto answered, his chin coming up.

"Okay, not the answer I was hoping for." A pull from his flask. "Open it. It was a gift from your mother's best friend when she was in whirlpool. The girl ended up in the Land of Iron, married to a Samurai of all things. These are her primary weapons and their teaching scrolls."

Naruto unrolled the scroll, and frowned at the seal painted on the yellowed paper. Iruka-sensei reached over the Boy's shoulder, and with just the tips of his fingers touching the paper, surged a bolt of chakra into the ink-seal. Out popped a knife, eight inches of edged along one side, curved to a point, and edged along the back to the midpoint. From the pommel cap a fine metal chain, so fine it looked to be woven rather then forged, measuring twelve feet, only to end in a slivered orb.

A couple of seconds later a well oiled thin leather sheath and two scrolls popped out of no where.

"Take 'em. Read the scrolls. As you master each weapon, the next one will be ready to release." Tanuki reclined on the couch. "Head home, get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow your real training begins."

Naruto grabbed his new things and bolted from the room.


	3. Chapter 3

_Tanuki reclined on the couch. "Head home, get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow your real training begins." Naruto grabbed his new things and bolted from the room. _

"You know you broke a few laws." The Hokage spoke as the door closed behind the gaki. "It is Law not to speak of his... what did you call it...tenet. His Parents are also taboo."

"I only spoke the truth. A respected Jinchuuriki is a harnessed force for the Village. An abused Jinchuuriki is a explosive force that can do more damage to the Village then the thing you are trying to keep at bay with the Jinchuuriki." Tanuki finished his bottle of drink. "If asked, I will talk in genralisics about his mother and father. But I think knowing the full truth about his parents should be held from him, until he can defend himself better. His Father was one of the few people who held a kunai to my throat, during full combat." He grinned, "His Mother, was the first in three generations to disarm me. I owe Him my life and I would do anything for Her. The Boy has my allegiance, and the Village has his." The wondering merchant heaved himself to his feet, lifting the heavy pack onto his shoulders, "I have a late dinner to get to. Then I am going to do my 'Uncle Tanuki' thing. I leave you to the Job and the dreaded paperwork, my lord." A bow of the head and he was gone.

"I Hate it when he does that." the Hokage grumbled, as he sipped the potent brew in the clay bottle. He debated calling it a night, or getting a start on the paperwork that would be flooding in shortly.

* * *

Tanuki phased in out front of the Ramen Shack. Climbing on to a stool, he leaned on the counter-bar.

The noodle cook stepped forward, "Sorry, but I had shut everything down before the gaki showed up with your marker, then popped. What is up with that?"

"The Boy just learned the Shadow clone. He was named Genin. Let him tell you the whole story when we come for lunch, tomorrow." Tanuki leaned back. "Not needing to eat, just needed to get in touch with a known member of our society. Spread the word that Uncle Tanuki is in town, and he has taken an interest in the Kitsune."

"And those who will not be happy to hear that you are interested in the boy?"

Tanuki grinned, as the skin on his face shifted; black freckles sprouted along his check bones, his eyes turned a greenish yellow, his teeth were like 'gators, "Now this Village has the 'Luck' of the Kitsune and the Tanuki. Everyone shall reap what they hath sown." and he walked into the night.

Tenchi shivered. Its going to get bloody real soon.

* * *

As the sun creeped over the eastern forest, the Village pirah awoke and dressed in his orange jumpsuit, and tied his orange headband on in place of his goggles. He collected his new knife and scrolls and jump out his patio door and cleared the railing, ready to run off and start his new training.

"Where do you think you are going?" a Voice boomed from behind him.

Naruto flipped over a rubbish bin, twisting in the air to land facing back the way he came. He spotted the old man that called himself Uncle Tanuki.

"Good airals, steady landing, but poor personal perception. You should have sensed me before you cleared the railing. Something else to work on." the old man lumbered up to the kid. "Okay I believe we need to get you to the Hokage Tower just after noon for photos, that gives us four hours to train, and then a early lunch. How does that sound?"

* * *

Naruto stood on the post, on one leg, the other tucked up close. The chain burrred and hummed as it was swung in a sphere pattern around the young boy. His eyes were closed as he focused on the swinging chain and ball.

Tanuki pulled a kunai from his sleeve and threw it at Naruto. Ring-hilt leading.

It impacted on the chain sphere and was deflected away.

"Good, you have the basics of that defensive kata down. Give me twenty clones with that weapon." as the boy made the ram sign, twenty clones popped into play. "Clones, fan out, focus on the Kata. I will tell you when to pop." the clones ran off to take their practice to the next level.

The old man touched a section of his pack and a scroll popped into the air. Flipping it open, and a seal flared and two pair of greaves and gauntlets fell to the ground. Kicking a pair of each to the boy, the old man began to put his on. "Taijutsu is an ordered style of fighting. Unless I give you to the 'green beast' I do not think that you will improve in taijutsu. You are more of a brawler, and with your...Tenet, you are able to fight with abilities that your class mates will not be able to match, not even the Uchiha."

Naruto was quick to put away the chain-dagger and strap on the metal half finger gloves and metal plate shin guards.

"I will give you a full 'war set' later. For now, we are just going to whale away on one another. Ready?" And the older man attacked the boy. Using no style, just trying to hit the kid. The boy was right there trying to do the same.

After about twenty minutes, Naruto grinned and spawned twenty clones. They all attacked the old man.

"Good job and Idea, gaki. If you can not match them in skill alone, drown them in Numbers." the old man hauled off and punched the closest clone in the chest, driving it and the clones behind it into the trees. One of the clones saw something just before it popped.

"Got you old man!" Naruto yelled as he headbutted his opponent. He then stumbled back. The old man went still, then crumbled into small gravel.

"Oh no, I killed Uncle Tanuki!" Naruto was gearing up for a melt down.

"Easy there, Gaki." the old man stepped out of the tree line. "By the Stone, that is one hard head you got there!"

Naruto cocked his head to the side. Over the years he heard many of the Village call apon the great and revered Log...

"Stone?"

Tanuki looked at the boy, "Yeah, I follow the Way of the Stone. I am not surprised you never heard of it, as most in this village follow the Way of the Log. Two different theologies, but for those who live among the trees and the leaves, the Log is your chosen protector. Only at sea is the stone not with me."

Stepping over to look down at the pile of rubble. "You really did in my clone there didn't you?" the only weakness they have is they can not take a solid blow to the head. For ten times the chakra cost of your shadow clones, I can draw up a stone clone. Its Chakra cost is the only reason you will not see this more often. About time for lunch, would you say?" the old man collected his pack. "Disperse your clones, one at a time."

Naruto pulled the ram seal, and slowly popped clone after clone...

His eyes went wide. "Wow! I just got..."

Tanuki just grinned.

Then Naruto frowned, spun and charged into the bush. A squeal and Naruto returned dragging someone from the bush in a headlock. "I think we have a spy."

Tanuki frowned. "Release her, Gaki."

Naruto dropped his prisoner at his teachers feet, and stepped away. Ready for any thing.

Tanuki looked the girl over, then started to laugh deep in his chest. "You're right, Gaki. We have a spy. If the two of you were older, I would have you take her some where to strip search her, and 'interrogate' her on just what she was doing here." the girl blushed deeply, then feinted.

"What just happened?" the boy asked.

Looking at the bloody nose on the girl, as the blush receded, "I think I just complected your life, gaki. Do you recognize her?"

Looking closely, "Yeah, she is in my class. Hyuuga Hinata. Real shy, gets sick easily, always has a fever when I am partnered with her."

Tanuki was watching the boy through narrowed eyes. "Okay. Lets go get lunch." Tanuki picked up the girl and laid her over his shoulder. He followed the boy into the village, all the way to Ichiraku Ramen.

121

Just short of the Ramen hut, Tanuki pulled a 'stone clone' from the earth. A nod, and the clone followed the boy. Tanuki followed the old road to a great double gate. As he moved to knock on the gate, two guards moved to block his way.

"Ah, good. I will see the Master of the Clan. Tell him it involves his Daughter and the future of the Clan." Tanuki made no move to dislodge the sleeping heiress.

"I was wondering when you would show up at my gate. I did not expect you to include my daughter with your..."

"And I would not have, if she had not been caught spying on me and my student."

"You expect her to avoid your skills?" Hyūga Hiashi raised an eyebrow.

"I was not the one who caught her. Her prey did." Tanuki pulled the limp form of the girl from over his shoulder. Handing her to the nearest guard, "I have a contract between her mother and my Mistress. When they were both in the early stages of their pregnancy." A small scroll dropped from his sleeve. He handed it to the Head of the Clan.

Taking the scroll, but not opening it, Hiashi frowned. "What put her in that state." it was not a question.

"That might be my fault. I was teasing the two of them. I said something along the lines of, if they were older, I would have my student take her elsewhere for a 'search and interrogation'. She flushed then feinted."

both guards raised their eyebrows, exchanged looks, and snickered.

Hyūga Hiashi just pulled a stone face. "I would thank you, for not giving my daughter any more ideas."

Tanuki grinned. "That scroll is a copy. There is another filed with the Village Archive, the Fire Daimyō Archive, and of course the Hokage himself." He turned to walk away. "I am staying at the Panda Blossom tea house and Hotel. Leave a note, I will see you the next day, if I am in town." he faded into the shadows of an overhead tree.

* * *

When he arrived at the ramen hut, the gaki was yelling in the street at a boy his age with his hands in his pockets, his black hair styled like the back end of a water fowl. A hand sign, and the stone clone rolled its eyes and sunk into the earth, transferring its memories to Tanuki.

The great wander frowned. It seems the the Uchiha had seen the brawler gear on the blond and demanded that the 'dobe' surrender it to the 'superior' warrior.

Walking up behind the two boys, who were drawing a crowd, and it was not in Naruto's favor. Tanuki crossed his arms over his barreled chest. "I see the thieving Uchiha are still up to their dirty tricks. I thought that was all settled when I killed Fugaku's father."

The dark haired boy spun to attack the old man. "What did you say?" he snarled.

"I said the Uchiha were a bunch thieving scum before the second Hokage offered them a chance to maintain order here in the village. About twenty years ago, one refused to turn from thievery and tried to steal items that I was carrying for my Mistress. I pinned the still breathing Meat sack to the wall of this Village as sign of what would happen to the next who tried to take what was under my protection."

"You Lie." the last Uchiha roared.

"Very Rarely." Tanuki squinted down at the boy. "Oh dear, You are Fugaku's second son, are you not? There were few things that Fugaku-sama was not. I will say that a thief was among them. He was a hard ass, a Bastard, and a good cop. His father was a master of the arts, but had an issue with personal property. Now are you like your father, a good man of the village? Or like your grandfather, and a problem that I need to deal with?"

Sasuke glared at the old man with such hate. "What do you know of my clan?"

"Too much and too little, I am afraid. I do know there are a few unclaimed members of your clan out there. When you attain the rank of chunin, I will take you and the gaki out and help you find them."


	4. Chapter 4

I am not a Ninja!

Chapter 3

isdh

_Sasuke glared at the old man with such hate. "What do you know of my clan?"_

"_Too much and too little, I am afraid. I do know there are a few unclaimed members of your clan out there. When you attain the rank of chunin, I will take you and the gaki out and help you find them."_

Sasuke grunted, glaring at both Tanuki and Naruto.

"Now, Boys. I am going to eat some ramen, and you two welcome to join me." He turned and climbed on the stool in the center of the booth. Naruto was a step behind him.

Sasuke grunted again, spit in the dirt, and with his hands in his pockets, walked off.

When Naruto finished his third bowel of noodles and drained the broth, Tanuki slapped a wad of ryo on the table. "That is enough for now. We need to get you cleaned up and dressed for your Ninja Profile Photo. Then a quick meeting with the Hokage, and then we can see what other trouble you can get into."

Naruto pouted, but followed the old man into crowding market street.

* * *

Naruto stood with his hands in the pockets of a leather duster coat. A leather vest over a black ninja mesh shirt, showed off his (for a twelve year old,) muscled chest. A shiny silver face guard (like Yamato wears, only shinier) held his unruly hair back and declared his affiliation to Konohagakure. The cuffs of his camo cargo pants were tucked into his ninja sandles...

Oh yes, everything was orange; the duster, the vest, the camo cargos, the sandles, the head band of his face guard/hitai-ate. It was so bright, Tanuki had to pull a staff from a seal on his back. A surge of chakra and a massive Umbrella snapped open, and cast a shadow over the eyesore of a ninja. The photographer quickly snapped the picture, and sent the two of them on their way.

The Hokage blinked the tears from his eyes, "Are you sure you want this to be your picture?"

"Yes, Hokage-Jiji." the newly minted genin answered.

"You know that ninja are to be 'shadow warriors' and to be able hide in the shadows of the 'Noon Sun'?"

"I have proven my skill at stealth, and from the 'Noon Sun' and its shadows; I strike at the Hokages weekly." the boy boosted, his chest puffed.

Iruka snorted, and nodded. "He has you there, Sir."

Before the Hokage could respond, a blur attacked from the doorway. Three steps in, it tripped, reveling a boy about the age of six in a scarf too long for him, a helmet, and clutching a wooden shuriken in his grubby paw. Looking about as he climbed to his feet, he spotted Naruto just standing there.

"You! You tripped me!" he shouted. "I will get you for this!" trying to stretch his three feet of height so he could yell in Naruto's face.

Naruto snorted, "Baka, you tripped over your own feet. I did not have to do anything." He gripped the boy by the front of his shirt and lifted him from the floor, with one arm. "You are below my notice."

"Go on, hit me, I dare you." Konohamaru smirked 'He won't. No one will. I am the "Honorable Grandson". No one hits me!'

Naruto bops the kid on his helmeted head, then drops him, just as a jonin in colored glasses entered the room. "Ah there you are, Honorable Grandson. You! In the Orange! Away from the Honorable Grandson!" Seeing the Orange Jinchuuriki so near his charge, the jonin puffed up. "Honorable Grandson, come away from that..."

Naruto cast a look at the Hokage and Tanuki, both waved in a dismissal, snorted, "Whatever." and walked from the room.

"Now Honorable Grandson," Ebisu took on the instructing pose, "It does no good to hang about with trash like that... Where did Honorable Grandson go?"

"Most likely, after Naruto-kun." Tanuki and the Hokage coursed

Everyone left in the room chuckled as the jonin bolted from the room.

* * *

Naruto had made it to the street before he noticed that he had nothing to do for the rest of the day. He knew that tomorrow he had to return to the classroom at the academy to receive team assignments. He had left his 'new toys' with Uncle Tanuki, so he could not practice with them. And after the almost perfect exit, he could go back.

"Do you know who I am?" a squeaky voice demanded from behind him. No, not just any squeaky voice, but 'his' squeaky voice.

As many responses flashed through his mind he grinned to himself. "No." he kept his back to the boy. "Nor do I care."

"I am Sarutobi Konohamaru! Honored Grandson of the Third Hokage. You will pay me the respect of I am owed."

"I Thought I did." Naruto grinned as he turned too look at the boy. "Why were you Attacking the old man anyways?"

"I am tired of everyone calling me 'Honorable Grandson'."

Naruto snorted and popped the kid on the head again. "Baka, you can not be tire of the people calling you by your title, and then demand to be respected for that same title." he then glared up at the Hokage's office, as an evil grin crept over his face. "You trying to beat the Hokage? I know a jutsu that can cripple him. He even called it a forbidden jutsu. Want to learn it?"

the look in the gaki's eyes was all he needed to know.

* * *

Up in the Hokage's office, Tanuki was watching the two boys as they ran off into the woods. "Oh no, I think We are in trouble." Turning to the Hokage, "Does Naruto know more then one forbidden jutsu?"

the Hokage frowned. "No, just the Shadow clone jutsu..." Then old man's eyes widened, "On no, I told him that one of his prank jutsu was to be labeled a forbidden jutsu. His 'Sexy jutsu'."

"Sexy Jutsu?" Tanuki looked out over the Village. "Do I want to know?"

Iruka spoke up, "Naruto was having trouble with a simple henge, so one Friday evening he went deep into the woods, to train, and two days later he returns with a swagger. That Monday, before the Hokage and a group of elder men, he was called up, put through his paces, and then asked to do his henge." Iruka then snorted in amusement. "None of the elders stood a chance. There was blood everywhere. Three Kunoichi trainees, civilian born, bolted thinking that Naruto killed the elders. Two of the current guardian twelve dropped by to see what was wrong. Only because I was focused on the elders, not on Naruto, was I spared. The Hokage had a stroke, thrashing around on the floor."

"Oh?" the old trader turned from the window. "What was his Henge?"

"A naked blonde female, aged about sixteen years. Twin tails, fuzzy clouds, his whisker marks and a grin was all she was wearing. She even jiggled when she giggled."

Tanuki nodded. "What happened to the elders?"

The Hokage grinned, "The Village got a thirty-eight percent increase in funds to keep that day out of court gossip, and to label that Jutsu forbidden." then he frowned, "Why do you ask?"

"Naruto just offered to teach a forbidden jutsu to your grandson, and grinned evilly, before leading the boy into the woods."

The Hokage and Iruka paled.

* * *

As the sun set over the Hokage summit...

"Hinata, Come to my study. Please." Hyūga Hiashi strolled past, his stride never breaking.

Like the well trained girl that she is, she hurried to follow his great strides. Once the two of them were in his study, he closed the door and activated privacy seals.

"Daughter, It has been noticed that you have shown some interest in the Uzumaki boy." His tone was neutral, not giving anything away. "Can you tell me what your interest is?"

She swallowed. "He has shown great inner strength. He has no one and yet he is last only in book work in the class. His Taijutsu is sloppy, but he is near undefeated in sparing, only the teachers can beat him, and only when they go all out." She blinked, and looked away from her father. "The villagers hate him, and for no reason that we can figure out, but he holds no hatred for anyone in the Village. He trains himself into the ground, learning the few skills that the instructors actually teach him. He takes great joy in teasing and pranking those who get above themselves, and can out run most of the ANBU within the Village."

"And he seems to lend his inner strength to those close to him." his voice warmed. "Since I asked you about him, you have not stuttered, or stammered once. I have an option that you might find of interest; the elders and I have found that it would strengthen our Standing in the Village, in due time, to have the Uzumaki boy chained, if not bound in some other way, to the Hyūga clan. I as Head of the Clan offer you the chance to bind the boy to us. It comes at a cost, not taken lightly. It would cost you the position of Heir, but remove you from the 'caged bird' seal. Failure is not an option, he must be tied to us before the next chunin exams."

"T-t-tied to us how?" her stutter crept into her voice.

"Buy more then rumor, my child. But other then that it is up to you." Hiashi pulled a scroll from his sleeve. "This scroll is signed by his birth mother, and yours. In his clan the Female is dominant. Tomorrow when you go to watch him train, you must begin your..." he grinned evilly, "I believe your mother called it 'assault' but she also referred to it 'hunting', 'taming', and 'breaking'. I do believe you have a Inuzuka in your class, use them to talk to a female of the clan about 'bringing a male to heel'. Use that phrase; 'Bringing a male to heel'. It worked for your mother, it worked for Uzumaki's mother, and it should work for you."

"If it worked for M-m-mother, why can you not tell me?" She flushed cutely.

"One, i do not remember. Two, if I told you, you would not learn your half of the training." he looked away and muttered under his breath, but she heard it anyway, "third, it would scare you to hear what your mother did to me, when I was courting her." He shook his head and cleared his throat. "As I look back on our courtship, I hunted and pursued her, right into her trap. There were things that I did to catch her eye, that make the pranks of your Male look mild. Then there are the things that she did to reward me and to punish me as only woman in love can do. You reach phase one, and I will give you her journal of her 'hunt' of me." A surge of chakra broke the seals, "Dismissed."

She fled, the scroll still in her hand, still unopened.

* * *

Tsume had just finished double checking the Compound and Kennel before turning in, when there was a frantic pounding on the door. She picked her way there, and opened it to find a panting Hyuga Hinata leaning on the door frame.

"Gomen-sai. Inuzuka-sama, I am in a position of great honor and urgentanticy. I was told to seek out you or one of your female clansmen, and request training in, and I quote, 'Bringing a male to heel',"

Tsume's head snapped up as did that of her nin-ken who was lounging at the foot of the stairs. Then She spotted the scroll in the girl's hand. "Follow me." As the girl entered, she bolted the great door. She guided the girl to her room at the top of the stairs. Once inside she sealed the door. "So you want personal training in clan secrets, and from your tone the male is not of my clan."

"No, but his mother and mine took this training. To bring the male of my choice to heel..." the girl blushed.

"May see your scroll?"

It was passed over, Tsume read it twice. "I see." She sighed, "My son will be disappointed, but I trained with these two, in fact my mother was the instructor for their training." She looked the girl in the eye, "I can tell you there are three levels of training. Loving puppy, nin-ken, and devoted slave. Pick which class you want."

Hinata closed her eyes in thought. She nodded, and looked Tsume in the eye. "I want Devoted Slave, but that means I would have to break him completely, and that would strip what I desire the most from him."

" Can we do a blend of nin ken and loving puppy?"


	5. Chapter 5

I am not a Ninja!

Ch4

isdh

"_I want Devoted Slave, but that means I would have to break him completely, and that would strip what I desire the most from him. Can we do a blend of nin ken and loving puppy?"_

Tsume grinned. "Devoted slave with his wild streak, then, okay, but just how far are you willing to go, to make him yours?"

"As far as it takes." Hinata swallowed.

Tsume got up and rummaged through a basket on a high shelf. Returning, she handed Hinata a leather strap with a buckle. "You need to Claim him in front of others. Tomorrow, you are being assigned to teams, correct?" at the girl's nod. "If he is there, kiss him, his first kiss if possible, and collar him. My son is the only one in your class to know what you are doing. He will make a scene, but ignore him. You are to focus only on your target. This is a test. If you pass this test, I will teach you the rest."

the girl took the collar, blushed, but there was a glint of steel in her eyes.

She let the girl out into night.

She grinned to her self. She remembered the night she finally broke Hana's father in. To bad the guy was too much a 'cat' then a dog.

No loyalty.

* * *

The next morning Hinata-chan was early. Slowly the class filled. Kiba was there with his pup, trying to engage her, asking if she would like to go on a date. Nara-kun was napping while Choji was snacking.

Even Sasuke was there, brooding. All but Naruto-kun, Ino and Sakura were there.

When Naruto-kun strutted in, she made her way to him.

"Um, Naruto-kun?" her voice caught in her throat.

"Yeah?" the blond asked.

Hinata flushed deeply, then leaned up and kissed him on the lips. As she broke the kiss, she slipped the collar about his neck. "You are mine." She whispered.

Then feinted.

* * *

Naruto was having an off day.

He had spent the evening the day before teaching Konohamaru his sexy jutsu. Then he blew up and combined it with his shadow clone jutsu giving him the harm jutsu. Watching the jonin thrash and bleed from the nose was fun. But what really got him was when 'Uncle Tanuki' showed up, covered in blood.

* * *

flashback

Naruto had just climbed on to his stool at the Ramen stand. Konohamaru right beside him (the jonin was in no shape to look after the boy). They made their orders.

The boy looked at Naruto, "Why do you order so much?"

"Ramen is the food of the Kami!" his fist in the air. Looking at the boy, "I need three times the amount of food of everyone else, always have. I can go longer without then most, but it increases the amount I need when I do eat. The old man here, and your grandfather have muttered something about 'like mother like son'." He shrugged. "I just love Ramen. I am this close to worshiping it like most follow the Log."

[Teuchi wept, just a few more weeks, and by the Noodle, they would have the Jinchuuriki as a full worshiper. His mother was also just a few weeks from being a sworn Follower... ]

"Naruto. To use that jutsu on a member of the Village!" both boys turned to look behind them. Uncle Tanuki was awash in blood. "As a prank master, I give it a four for style. For your timing, and causality count you get a five. The Hokage did not stand a chance. Only my training saved me." he waved at the blood covering him, "this is all from the Hokage. I am going to wash up, see you tomorrow. Behave." and the old vanished.

* * *

After dinner he went home. Uncle Tanuki did not return, but he did not need the old man poking into everything. Changing out of his new clothes, he dressed in his boxers and his night cap. And snuggled into bed.

His dreams were wild and chaotic, but faded with rising of the sun.

He dressed in his new gear, including the brawler's gear. Wearing orange and shiny steel was not very stealthy, but it forced the eye on him, not on the ninja attacking from the rear. Ignoring the the stares and glares he strolled along the street. He bought a roll stuffed with meat and cheese on his way to class. It was no Ramen, but Teuchi would not be open in time. Besides he was coming back for lunch.

As he stepped into the class, he felt the eyes wash over him. There was Sasuke brooding by the window, Shikamaru was napping while Choji was munching yet another bag of chips. Most of the girls were clustered three seat over and two back from Sasuke. Hinata was at the back of the room, Kiba right beside her yammering away about his puppy.

Everybody was here but the two co-chairmen of the Sasuke fan club.

Uncle Tanuki had not turned up this morning. Not that he expected the old geezer to show, but the man had a few items that were said to be his. So focused on his issues, he did not see Hinata-chan move. As she picked her way up to him, he was looking at Sasuke, thinking about what made him so special.

"Um, Naruto-kun?" Hinata-chan appeared in front of him, refocusing his thoughts.

"Yeah?" the blond asked.

Hinata flushed deeply, then leaned up and kissed him on the lips. As she broke the kiss, she slipped a collar about his neck. "You are mine." She whispered, before she feinted.

He caught her. "Okay, what was that about?"

"You are so dead!" Kiba lunged at Naruto, his puppy left behind.

* * *

AN; a short one, but been working on 'Legacy of the Aburame' and am trying to get my head around 'Prices' not to mention 'His Other Godfather' and Bloodlines seems to have leveled off.

"Dance Muse! Dance and bring me the gift great stories!"

* * *

Omake:

six months later; the chunin exams...

Naruto had just beaten the shit out of Kiba. On his way up to his team, Hinata-chan gave him some ointment and a quick kiss with a scratch behind the ear.

Then her name was called.

She was facing her cousin.

He laid into her, destiny this...fate that...she was soo weak...

Naruto-kun yelled down his basic encouragement.

Looking at the jonin, "I was told summons are allowed." her voice soft and demure, but her eyes were hard cold steel.

The jonin nodded, "Summons are allowed. But they must be proper summons, not a branch member waiting in the wings."

Hinata-chan grinned evilly. "If I was going to use branch members, I would chose Neji here. He is the best after all." She assumed the family taijutsu stance, it was mirrored by Neji. Hayate gave the signal to fight.

"I am glad you know the truth of our skills." Neji boasted.

"In the family art, I would be sorely tested, and would lose against you. You have at least a full year of training, better tutors, and a greater drive." She channeled chakra into her hand as she stepped out of the ready stance. A few quick hand signs, "Ninja Art; Warui inu no kakato[bad dog heel]" As her hand slap the floor, a seal flashed, and a cloud of smoke engulfed the Heiress. From within the smoke, Her voice carried out clearly. "I just happen to have something stronger then you and your drive."

The smoke cleared and at her side squatted Naruto-kun. She ran her fingers through his hair. "A gift, if you will, from Mother via Father. I spent the last six months training him. He is quit the good boy, when he is like this, but he has some temperament issues. An elder knocked me over one day while I was working with him. Elder Bob."

the look on Neji's face, pricless; the elder in question; both arms broken, same for the legs...and how a stone Buddha got shoved up the elder's...

"Proctor?" Neji asked

"She used a summons. I felt the seal pass. Though why would a ninja place himself under said seal is beyond me. Fight or forfeit."

* * *

Naruto looked up at Kakashi, "Ahh, What just happened? One minute Hinata-chan is facing off against her cousin, then next I am watching the medical ninja cart him off looking worse then Kiba."

Kakashi looked at Hinata-chan, 'Sensei told horror stories of his courtship with his wife. But that was nothing compared to what I just watched.' he cleared his throat. "Ah, Naruto, why don't you go congratulate Hinata-chan on her win."

Guy stepped close, "What was that? The 'Flames of his Youth', So bright, yet so dark."

"That is the One training even you wont put your students through. It was the Inuzuka Kekkon no torēningu. It creates an even stronger bond between the two, and can triple the power of the Male. The only problem is that he has to be in a primal state. Only the Inuzuka clan is known for their primal states. It seems that the young heiress has found something even stronger.

* * *

The Hokage was glad he was so old. He then had a reason to have messed himself.

Watching the Heiress summon the boy, raised his eyebrows, but what she had the boy do to her cousin...it was brutal, even by Anko's standards. And then to snap her fingers and the boy was at her side to get his head rubbed?

The village no longer had a reason to fear the boy...

It was her they now had to fear!


	6. Chapter 6

I am not a Ninja!

Chapter 5

isdh

Uncle Tanuki sat in a circle in the center of a bigger circle. There were five circles inside the bigger circle. Each of the four outer small circles were designed to hold a summons. The whole summon array was designed to call and hold four of the strongest non animal summons.

Uncle Tanuki took a deep breath, he slammed his hands down on the ground, and used he great chakra to power the array.

Six domes, five inside the sixth, formed. Each was large enough for a man to stand up. Each filled with smoke then cleared. Each of the four empty circles now had a non human warrior, complete with their native dress and weapons.

Each was began yelling at the other in their native tongue. Threatening with their weapons.

Tanuki just bowed his head and waited. He took this time to peer at the three he could see, as his back was to one of the summoned beasties.

Behind him was a five foot fox, three tails swished as she swung the Katana at those before her. She was dressed in a Kimono. Her voice was little more then yips and snarls as she cursed to embrace a sailor. Tanuki ignored her threats to his privates, his clan, and what ever else she was promising. He had a trump; Kyubi-chan.

To his left, A four foot six inch Rat stood quietly, his Katana sheathed, but he could draw it quicker than any human could blink. His lacquered armor of a Samurai, black with a red squares forming a picture of a skull. The only motion was his whiskers and eyes as he tried to watch everybody at once. One might almost think he could...

In front of him, a male, naked to the waist, where he wore a heavy sash. From the sash down he was all snake. In his hands were what appeared to be two wakizashi joined at the hilt, giving him a staff type weapon with a true blade on each end. He swayed back and forth, ready to lunge as soon as he could, to strike or dodge, which ever was needed. His blades looked wicked and thirsty.

To his right, a five foot Raven crouched in a combat stance. Its wings were drawn back out of the way as the 'Wind-and-fire wheels' in his bird talon like hands readied for the strike that was to come. His beak parted as his breath was slow and focused.

Slowly the Summoned affect was overcome and they noticed they were alone with each other, and each was also summoned. They then saw who and what summoned them.

"Tanuki, Why have you risked our wrath, and summoned us here?" The Naga spat.

"I summoned you all here, because you would take offense if I summoned one or all of the others and did not summon one of your clan. To each of your Clans, I have found a Village that could use you and your abilities. Tengu, Your clan has mastered the damn near every hand to hand combat style, and most of the small weapon styles. Nezumi, you have mastered all forms of the blade. Naga, In the village is an honorable student of the Snake, betrayed by her Master. Kitsune, One word, Kyubi-chan." He looked into the Eye of each of the traveling warrior. "I am not saying you must teach or bond with someone from this Village, but I do believe you would feel insulted or slighted if I called the others here and ignored your clan. Give me Seventy-two hours, and if you find nothing at this Village to spark your interest, I will send you home, no harm, no foul."

Blades vanished as the Warriors accepted the deal.

* * *

Anko was outside the window of her favorite chunin instructor. This morning she was sharing her perch with the mother of her sometime sex toy. Both had perked up when the eyesore that is Uzumaki entered the room. But Anko just liked the gaki for the pranks he pulled about the town, and for the ideas he gave her when she was playing with Iruka.

Anko frowned when she saw the Hyuga confront the Gaki. The Kiss was a real surprise! And then the sweet girl fainted into the arms of her 'lover'. Something about it reminded of something Hana did once with her...

She was frowning when Tsume lunged, straight at the window. Anko leaned back and pulled a small travel box of dango from her coat. It looked like today's show would include action and eye candy, now all she needed was a scream track and her day would be perfect.

* * *

"You are so dead!" Kiba lunged at Naruto, his puppy left behind.

His arms full of the girl that kissed him, Naruto just leaned to the side and allowed the Inuzuka boy slam headfirst into the wall. "Not now Kiba. Wait until we are out side, then I will play fetch with you." Naruto carried the girl to her seat, then dodged another lunge from the enraged dog-boy. "But if you slobber on the ball this time, I am only trowing it once."

Kiba growled and leaned forward, his eyes glowed red...

...just before his mother slammed into him. "Naruto, please inform your sensei that I needed to talk to my son about a clan issue. Nice Collar." and they were gone. Kuromaru flickered in, grabbed the pup by the scruff and flickered out.

Naruto snorted. "I guess he forgot the ball at home. We will play later."

Sakura. who entered just after Hinata fainted, yelled out, "Stop trying to be cool, Only Sasuke can pull something like that off."

"Oh look, Sasuke. Your fangirl is here. Has she ever given you a token of her affection? Have you ever been attacked because she has?"

Sasuke just turned his head to look at the orange ninja. "Why do you ask? If I wanted something I would take it." he glared at Naruto, "Like that set of greaves and bracers. After class. Anything goes!"

Naruto puffed his chest, but then he thought of something. "What are you putting up? I see no reason to fight you, unless you are like what Uncle Tanuki said about your grandfather..."

"What do you want?"

"Like he has to give you anything!" Sakura shouted, "He is so going to kick your ass!"

"Yeah!" chorused the fangirls.

"If the fight is so his, then he should have no fear of matching my wager." Naruto posed in intellect victory. "He wants my brawlers gear, then he should match it with something of equal or greater value."

"Naruto! Sit down." Iruka-sensei had arrived. "Is everyone here who is suppose to be here?'

"Naruto!" Sakura called from her seat, "He failed the tests."

"Ah, he pasted a make-up test given to him by Mizuki-sensei." Iruka-sensei frowned as he read his clipboard. "He is here as he should be. But I seem to be missing Inuzuka Kiba."

"Yeah, Inuzuka-sama took him out for a clan matter. He should be back before lunch." Naruto chirped from his seat next to the sleeping Hinata-chan. She had claim his hand in her sleep.

* * *

Anko bounced on her branch in joy as her prey entered the room. But her hand kept going to her throat where the ghost of a memory of a leather band once laid...

Blowing a kiss at Iruka, Anko shunshined away, looking for her other play toy.

* * *

The five approached the east gate.

Tanuki leaned on the desk as the other four wondered past. The two guards did not even look up. "Are you two that trusting?"

"Your Serve the gaki, the gaki serves the Hokage and the village." one answered.

The other continued, "If you brought them here, they are either for the gaki, or the village. You sneaking them in, means this is either of the highest secret, or you do not want the Hokage to know. If the Hokage was to know, we would have been told something."

The first picked up the line of thought, "If we see anything, we must report it. All we know is you went out early, came back before noon."

A few minutes later they looked up and around. "Gate duty is so damn boring."

the other guy smiled, "just the way we like it."

* * *

"...Team Seven; Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura,"

"Eat it Ino!"

"And Uzumaki Naruto. Sensei, Hatake

Kakashi." Here Iruka frowned. "Naruto, it says here you are also being mentored. Specialists arriving later. Do you know anything about this?"

"No Sensei, just that my Taijutsu is crap, my chakra control is even worse, and genjutsu is beyond hope. Uncle Tanuki is well traveled, he might know something."

Iruka-sensei nodded at the name of the traveler. "Okay."

"Why does Naruto get mentoring?" Sakura piped up. "Sasuke deserves the special treatment, not some..." here her words failed her.

Looking up from his clipboard, "One; Naruto-kun was not able to learn, before the genin testing process, his clans skills. Two; he did not have the money to hire outside help, so now that he does and his Uncle has the contacts... Three; even the Hokage does not know who is teaching him. Four; if Sasuke wants to learn, he can find out about approved masters to help him also."

Before Iruka could turn back to his clipboard, the door opened and Kiba was thrown back into the room. Akamaru pranced in just before the door slammed shut.

"Akamaru, thank you for showing up." Iruka-sensei spoke to the puppy, knowing that in the case of human males of the clan, the dog is usually the smart one. "Is he awake? Tell him when he awakens then; Team eight, Aburame Shino, Inuzuka Kiba with Akamaru, and Hyuga Hinata. You have Yūhi Kurenai as your sensei."

"But I wanted Naruto-kun on my team murmured a soft voiced Hinata-chan as she lay in a sleep like trance.

"No worries, Hinata-chan. When we are not doing team related training, we can train privately." Naruto chirped.

* * *

The hour before lunch was the best time to do the paperwork. She sat at the small desk in the corner of her office in the vet clinic.

"Hana!" a voice ghosted softly through the air, the caller was in a playful mood.

"Not now Anko." She did not even look up.

"Oh Hana!" the voice drew closer.

"Anko. Not. Now." Her friend would notice the tone of voice and come back later.

"Oh Hana-chan!" a leather strap landed in front of her.

Hana froze.

Anko was known for her weirdness. She took great pleasure in tormenting the males about the Village, but until Iruka, she had avoided personal connections with any male. As Hana was her age, they had bonded over the short years after Anko's return from Orochimaru. Hana was the one she told the whole truth to, crying into the girls arms.

But to drop a leather strap in front of Hana?

Hana knew that it was a collar, and what Anko was asking/demanding by dropping it there. She licked her lips as she set aside her paperwork. "Not into the heavier games, right now." the longer she could put it off the better...

"This morning I was joined by your mother in watching Iruka's class. She was there watching a girl collaring a boy. Collaring him, like you once did me." Anko shed the Shadows as she sat across from Hana.

The Inuzuka 'girl' looked at her friend, her lover...

"Yes, at one time I did chose you, to be mine. But Mother explained that I could not chose you." Hana picked up the collar, worrying it in her hands. "What you saw this morning is the first step in a bonding process that rivals the tight bonding of our nin-ken. The whole thing has three reasons; strengthens the spirit of the female, tightens the bond between mates, and increases the Control over our more feral males." She stood and walked away from the desk. "Mother said I could not choose you; for me to do this, I needed to choose a breeding partner, not a lover. There is a need for it to be a female/male thing."

Anko stepped behind her, enfolding Hana in a hug, "That might explain why your brother went 'ape- shit' and tried to kill the other male. If he was chosen for this, I doubt he can be called 'boy' any longer."

Hana leaned back into her friend. "It allows the female to grow in her self confidence and to bleed off some of the male's testosterone poisoning." she frowned as she replayed Anko's words. "My brother? That would mean the girl was..." She stepped away from Anko before turning and looking at her lover. "Who did the Hyuga heiress choose?"

"Uzumaki." the Snake Mistress's eyes sparkled. "So the only reason you released me was I was not man enough for you?"

"Not for that process, but you are my preferred in all other matters." Hana stepped forward, wrapping her arms about the crazy 'girl'. "For me to put you through that process, it would have destroyed all the good work we did getting you to function within the Village. You would have been little more then my sex toy."

"Would that be so bad?" Anko leaned her head against Hana's

"It would mean no more dango."

It was as if half the ANBU had punched the girl in the gut... "No. More. Dango?"

Hana chuckled, "So, when we are done here, I will treat you."

Anko relaxed. Then frowned, "So, any idea who you are going to make your bitch?"


End file.
